Specify the Requirements Clearly with all Constarints
This is what happened when a certain Company post on the following memo:
OFFICE MEMO:
May all members of staff please note that there will only be one drink per person at this year's Christmas Party.
And please bring your own cup !
Regards,
Management
Then scroll down
Have u ever been so drunk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its Touching..Please Read.....
Sanjay, a rich guy, loved fast cars and he did have a few in his possession. He loved to speed and could not be bothered about breaking speed limits. Many a times he was caught by the cops and speed radars, fined but still he never bothered until.
One day as he was driving at a very high speed as usual, he saw a cop following him. The cop overtook him finally and asked him to stop and checked his license. He then took out his pad and started Writing, and then handed over the sheet of paper to Sanjay.
How much was this one going to cost?!!!
Wait a minute.
What was this????
Some kind of joke? Certainly not a ticket.
Sanjay began to read:
"Dear Sanjay,
Once upon a time I had a lovely daughter. She was six when killed by a car.
You guessed it - a speeding driver's car. A fine and three months in jail, and the man was free. Free to hug his three daughters. I only had one, and I'm going to have to wait until Heaven,before I can ever hug her again. A thousand times I've tried to forgive that man. A thousand times I thought I had. Maybe I did, but I need to do it again. Even now. Pray for me.. And be careful, Sanjay, my son is all I have left. " Sanjay turned around in time to see the cop's car pull away and head down the road. He watched until it disappeared. A full 15 minutes later, he too, pulled away and drove slowly home, praying for forgiveness and hugging a surprised wife and kids when he arrived.
Life is precious. Handle it with care.
Spread this message as far as you kan, you may save a life. Then maybe not, but we'll never know until WE TRY
Cool Dictionary............
ClassiC DefinitionS & CooL MeaningS"
1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.
9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist:- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father: A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
31. Computer Engineer: One who gets paid for reading such mails......
Good one - Interview
Honestly, we will have these answers in our mind ... but we give different, tailored and suitable answers to the guy !
1. Why did you apply for this job?
I have applied for many jobs along with this and you called me now.
2. Why do you want to work for this company?
I have to work for some company who ever gives me a job, I don't have any specific company in mind.
3. Why should I hire you?
You have to hire some one, you may give me a try.
4. What would you do if this happened?
Well, it depends my mindset and mood at that situation...
5. What is your biggest strength?
Basically, daring to join any company who pays me well, without thinking of the fate of company
6.What is your biggest weakness?
Girls
7. What was your worst mistake, and how did you learn from it?
Joining my earlier company and learnt that I need to jump to get more money, so I am here today
8. What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of?
Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need to change my job? I could demand more and stay there.
9. Describe a challenge you faced and how you overcame it?
Biggest challenge is answering the question "why are you looking for a change" and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome that.
10. Why did you leave/ are you leaving your last job?
For the same reason why you left your earlier job
11. What do you want from this job?
If no work is given but keep giving good hikes
12. What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them?
Make more money and for that keep jumping companies for every 2 yrs
13. Did you hear of our company and what do you know of us?
Yeah, I know that you will ask this, I've gone through your website
14. What is the salary expected and how do justify that?
Well, no one will change job for the same salary, hence, give me 20% extra than what I am getting and that is unpublished industry standard
(I know you will bargain on what ever I ask, hence, I have already hiked my current salary by 30%)
Men are Men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How guys select the girl they want to marry....
A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.
He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000
and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets
her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and
dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man is impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.
She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his
computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she
tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him
so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market.
She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and
reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the
money.
Guess which lady he chose to marry?
(scroll down for the answer)
Any Guesses
He married the most beautiful one!!!!!!
because, Men are Men,!!! J
Can engineers be 'Touchy feely'? Apparently they can... says author Chetan Bhagat
I remember the incident - I was in a restaurant, and one girl in our group
was especially charming. So I, like any other male, tried to put on a
wooing act. You know the routine, a nanosecond extra eye contact, a few more nods
to whatever she says, and attempts to throw in those one-liners which you
know you wouldn't if she weren't there.
And it seemed to be working. She leaned forward when she spoke to me, and
every now and again, we'd have a small conversation of our own, separate
from our group. She laughed at my approach with the fork and knife, and I
teased her about her hair band, which had little teddy bears. Yes, we were
flirting. A while later, she asked me the question - what did I study? I
said engineering, without any particular meaning attached to it. And then
like a cold metal rail, she went stiff.
My jokes weren't funny any more. Her eyes wandered to everyone else. What was it?
Why? Why? Why?
Two days later, I still couldn't get over my great start that had dissipated
listlessly upon mentioning my education. Engineer? What was wrong with that?
My mom had wanted me to become one since I was five! I had to call her. 'So
what happened to you that day, hot and cold, missie?' And then she said,
trying to be nice, 'Well, it's just that I am skeptical about engineers as
friends. I don't know, they can be, you know, very logical and
everything...
not very touchy feely'.
Not touchy-feely. Now what the heck did that mean? Well, she obviously did
not mean it literally, since girls don't really suggest that sort of stuff,
certainly not in the first meeting across the table. I guessed it was
something to do with feelings, sort of having an emotional side. The
stereotype being, the nerdy guy who sees relationships like laws of
physics, to whom love is just a bunch of chemicals going crazy in your brain, and
getting to know a person means obtaining their bio-data.
It's time to set the record straight.
It's true that a lot of what engineers study (and they end up studying
quite a lot), has to do with formulaes, laws and numbers. No matter how hard we
try, some of the vocabulary we read all day gets into our language. So when my mother said, 'Are you getting married next year or not?' I was liable to say, 'Well, at this moment in time, the probability is relatively low,' and felt it was completely normal to say it. And when my sister went sari shopping and couldn't explain the shade she wanted, I told the shopkeeper
the percentages of pink, orange and red in the sari.
Yet, ladies, I don't think we're bad at relationships, love and getting to know people. We too, can be touchy-feely, as that is part of our education as well. The reason for this is that most engineering students live in the ultimate educator - boy's hostels. Now, let me explain how this plays into this 'touchy-feely' thing. Relationships. Imagine eating, sleeping,
brushing your teeth, bathing (ok rarely this one) and partying with the same people
all the time. So, when you are kicking that bathroom door down for the tenth time, or when you stand in line for 'gulab-jamuns' in the mess, and when you are done with the vodka bottle and sharing all your secrets, you know it is good practice. Yes, hostels maketh the man.
So, next time you are in a flirtatious situation with the techno types, go on, flirt a bit more. Of course, I am biased towards my kind, but if you find the conversation turning too geeky, just ask them, 'So, what were your hostel days like?' and chances are, you'll see a heart behind the
calculator. Coming back to my missie, I thought of what would make me win her over. Flowers... too cheesy. Music... don't know her taste (nor trust mine). Teddy bears... don't even go there. Desperate for some good lines, I just turned it right back at her. 'Yes, I know what you are saying about engineers. The thing is, unless people with depth like you start hanging
out with us, we won't get any better. Can you meet me some time for some touchy/feely... oops, I mean coffee/tea?' She giggled. When they giggle,you have won.
Hence proved.
Reason why people came into our life........
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or dosomething to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept thelesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Dev: So learn to accept the things,dont contemplate too much on the things for which you kan't do anything. This habit of accepting, inculcate in you a new habit, which in turn will gave you inner peace and satisfaction. Now you will be longer the one who always need others to be the reason of his happiness. You will be the happiest man. And then only you kan bring about the happiness to all who are linked to you.
Lines of Bashir Badr
Dev: I just love this ,and after reading this and some more mails i have decided to share these stuffs with all of you. So my this blog is going to contains the excerpts from the mails.
And believe me you are definitely going to enjoy this space.
Jis din se chala hoon,
meri manzil pe nazar hai,
Ankhon ne Kabhie meel ka pathar nahin dekha......
yeh phool mujhe koi viraasta main nahin mile hain,
tumne mera kanton bhara bistar nahin dekha....
Bewaqt agar jaoonga sab chonk padenge,
ek umra huyee din main kabhi ghar nahin dekha.....
patthar kehta hai mera chahne wala,
usne mujhe chookar nahin dekha .......
